What does it take to feel confident? While confidence comes from many different sources and looks different to different people, it is something we all struggle with from time to time. Especially when it comes to the idea of traveling and spending time alone. Solo travel is one of the hardest things for many people because it pushes our boundaries, our fears, and maybe even the way we perceive ourselves. This article will work to show how we are not only capable of traveling solo but how we can also use it to build our self-confidence to high heights.
The urge to travel solo often stems from a need for independence and adventure. It doesn’t have to be a big decision either, starting off as less of a journey of self-discovery and more of a need for change. Simple as that.
Travel in general is a good source of self-confidence. Being placed in a new environment, a new language, and a new culture can force us out of our comfort zones. Especially when we are on our own and not within immediate reach of our familiar support systems, embracing the unknown can force us to make quick decisions and be direct, adding to our confidence over time.
Human beings are social creatures by nature. One of the most significant hurdles to traveling solo is the fear of being alone. This fear can be less about the logistics of travel and more about how comfortable, or more specifically uncomfortable, we can be with ourselves. Sitting alone with our thoughts can be one of the scariest things ever to some, let alone going on an adventure by yourself.
To manage this fear, we can take small, simple steps outside our comfort zones to build up our independence and our relationships with our inner selves. For example:
These are all small but incredibly impactful strategies for building the confidence needed for longer solo journeys.
My first taste of traveling versus vacationing was when I briefly studied abroad in Bermuda in college. That experience allowed me to embrace a new community on a more personal level and I was hooked. After graduating, I was able to find remote work which also gave me more flexibility and more control over where I spent my time.
With that new flexibility and desire to expand my environment, I set a simple goal for that year. Visit five new cities, and visit one new city completely by myself. A goal like this is helpful for anyone eager to get started but who might not want to dive into something uncomfortable.
The cities don’t have to be far from home, nor do the visits have to be for a long time. But you’ll tend to notice that by the time you visit the fifth city, you’re significantly more comfortable and more self-confident.
It’s also fine to start from familiar ground. During that time, I visited Los Angeles, a place that I had been to before, so it wasn’t new. However, it was the jumping-off point for me to stay on the West Coast for a long amount of time, eventually letting me see San Diego for the first time, which I knew would be my home down the line.
We start small and with time and practice, we can build our confidence. But we’re not going to stop there. We want to continue to move the needle in a safe and meaningful way, so we can build long-lasting confidence. Gradually exposing yourself to things that scare you a little bit can build up your resilience.
Now, when we say, “Find something that scares you,” what we really mean is something challenging. It doesn’t even really matter what the outcome is. As long as you continue to push your boundaries in a healthy way, you may find that you’re capable of a lot more. You may even start to feel empowered taking on these confidence-building challenges.
One personal moment in my life that helped me build a lot of confidence was auditioning for the New York Knicks City Dancers. Dancing has been a passion of mine for years, I do it for exercise and for self-expression. That said, the Knicks City Dancers were a powerhouse dance team. I knew that I wasn’t going to make the cut, but I purposely went to the audition as a challenge to myself to confront a fear. I knew that it was a safe and controlled environment but it would also show me what I was made of.
I went to the audition, and I was way out of my element, but I had so much fun. I felt the fear, but I did it anyway. It was an opportunity to gain experience; you have these experiences that you keep in your back pocket, and when they're attached to something tangible, they're powerful. Plus, when I need an added boost of confidence, I listen to the song I auditioned to. “Sweet Nothing” will forever be my “I can do anything” song.
Solo travel can be an invitation to reflect in a new and exciting environment. It requires you to be more present and aware of your surroundings, which can be both daunting and empowering. As you connect to your new habitat, you can take a moment to reflect on what makes a new place comfortable. Sometimes, that’s finding something familiar that reminds you of home, and sometimes, it means finding something new that you connect with.
This is a balance between being introspective and extroverted. Ask yourself.
What do you like and not like and why? What in this new place do you like and not like? What puts me at peace and what can I do to find comfort in this moment?
Finding an answer to those questions is challenging but once you do you can be more comfortable with your own company. It might sound a little silly, but once you know how to find those positive triggers you can strengthen your own self-assurance.
We try not to confront ourselves. We meet our inner selves where we are and try to understand how to move forward to where we want to be. The idea of being truly alone can be incredibly intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. You’re the only You there is, and taking a moment to get to know yourself can strengthen you beyond belief and give you the ability to thrive in almost any locale.
Wanna know a secret? It may seem like a paradox, but solo travel doesn’t have to feel like solo travel. We’ve talked about being alone with your thoughts and taking the time to get to know yourself. Now, let’s take a moment to talk about the global community all around us.
Traveling alone forces us out of our comfort zones but more specifically it forces us to work harder at building connections. We have to take the initiative to introduce ourselves to new people and strike up a conversation, which can be intimidating when we’re in a familiar environment, let alone a new place. But with the self-confidence we’ve already built, we can feel better about reaching out to others who might be looking to connect too.
The relationships we make while traveling can sometimes be even stronger and more meaningful, as we meet like-minded people we would never have had the chance to meet had we not taken the leap to travel. We collect new experiences, stories, and even a sense of belonging that transcends geographical boundaries.
There are tons of reasons why someone might travel solo. There are also tons of reasons why someone might want to travel solo but be too intimidated to start. There is nothing wrong with being scared of the unknown, it would be a little strange to have no apprehension at all. But solo travel, at its heart, is more than just going off to some new place; it can be a journey towards finally feeling confident enough to be the person you want to be.
In reality, we’re surrounded by unknowns every single day, and we subconsciously handle them without any trouble at all. The only difference when it comes to solo travel is that we’re more aware of the presence of the unknown, and more aware of our own fear. We don’t have to not be afraid, but we own it to ourselves to try and see what the world has to offer, one small step at a time.
And trust me, it’s much easier to take that journey within when you start with an outer journey. Embrace curiosity over fear, start small, and before you know it, you’ll be scaling mountains (both externally and internally).
Lauren Serpico is a TRT Wellness Contributor, a Doctor of Psychology, certified Personal Trainer, and an experienced world traveler. Her research works to understand the psychological impacts of social media and how it can be used to build positive connections around the world.